"With apologies to Clement Moore... 'Twas the night before Christmas, in the Feeple house / A ninja reindeer arrived, Oh! what a louse! / The deer had a mission — that was unfair: / Seek Santa's daughter, who could be found nowhere! / The ninja team did their best; they looked all around, / And were shocked when his little girl was found! / The little Claus was a partying sort / Who went to clubs, got drunk, and liked to cavort! / The ending is sweet and calls for a tissue — / When Christmas is saved, and more in this issue!"